im feeling like my energy is all sucked out. i am damn tired mentally and physically.
i just wanted to spend my day wisely and not just waste it. its a friday.

no club, no shopping, no movie, no town, no aston, not even any bubble tea. i wanted so much to drink KOI bubble tea. end up. im at home at 8 pm.
some times i just feel like randomly going out alone without my fone. if only i had a mp3.
then, i wouldnt have to check my phone so constantly and waiting for reply like a retard. then again, im not suppose to feel this way. its just 3 hours before the last msg.. but..
but but but. i have been saying alot of buts these days. im fucking irritated by myself.
really.

and this is when i suddenly feels so lonely. like really.
not bcos of bgr.
suddenly when a day like this comes i feel that im a useless person.
all my friends has their plan alr. and i seriously feel damn left out. others are tired. if not im like a spare tyre, if i nv go den we go out. den last min will say i think i meet u next time.
sighs. sometimes i am very envious of people who has different big group of friends. i never had one big group of friends. my friends are all scattered. plus me 3 person, if not wil be one person one person. why? i know people would tell me, friends no need so many you just need one best friend or a few close ones.
but. best friend has her own life too.
close friends has their own group of closer friends.
boyfriend has more friends. working friends secondary friends and shatec friends.

but one thing im lucky is. i still have my family.
mummy helped me by sending my project to my email despite me talking in a very pekcek voice while explaining to her hw to send. sister meet me and accompany me for dinner and offer to let me use the lappy den she find other things to do. i know she wants to use the com also one lah.

some will ask me , why u cant stay home one huh? its not that i cant stay. i must see when isit.
i hope i can walk a long long road with no ends. and just continue walking.

i hate waiting for msgs. seriously.
they say i behave like a child. sighs.
i think i have some character problems.
fuck man. i should just die.
really. why do i live in this world for? everything just doesnt seems right.
why must life have this phase everytime. everything is out of place. i am the biggest shit that is out of place.





at the end of the day.
home is the best place. cause when everyone seems to leave me alone,
there's a place call home. a place where people will really ask me out of concern why i am like this. a place where people will care whether i have eaten or not. a place where people will try and make me feel better although they didnt show it out clearly. a place where no matter how angry and hated that person, i will be fine after a few days.

im feeling like my energy is all sucked out. i am damn tired mentally and physically.
i just wanted to spend my day wisely and not just waste it. its a friday.

no club, no shopping, no movie, no town, no aston, not even any bubble tea. i wanted so much to drink KOI bubble tea. end up. im at home at 8 pm.
some times i just feel like randomly going out alone without my fone. if only i had a mp3.
then, i wouldnt have to check my phone so constantly and waiting for reply like a retard. then again, im not suppose to feel this way. its just 3 hours before the last msg.. but..
but but but. i have been saying alot of buts these days. im fucking irritated by myself.
really.

and this is when i suddenly feels so lonely. like really.
not bcos of bgr.
suddenly when a day like this comes i feel that im a useless person.
all my friends has their plan alr. and i seriously feel damn left out. others are tired. if not im like a spare tyre, if i nv go den we go out. den last min will say i think i meet u next time.
sighs. sometimes i am very envious of people who has different big group of friends. i never had one big group of friends. my friends are all scattered. plus me 3 person, if not wil be one person one person. why? i know people would tell me, friends no need so many you just need one best friend or a few close ones.
but. best friend has her own life too.
close friends has their own group of closer friends.
boyfriend has more friends. working friends secondary friends and shatec friends.

but one thing im lucky is. i still have my family.
mummy helped me by sending my project to my email despite me talking in a very pekcek voice while explaining to her hw to send. sister meet me and accompany me for dinner and offer to let me use the lappy den she find other things to do. i know she wants to use the com also one lah.

some will ask me , why u cant stay home one huh? its not that i cant stay. i must see when isit.
i hope i can walk a long long road with no ends. and just continue walking.

i hate waiting for msgs. seriously.
they say i behave like a child. sighs.
i think i have some character problems.
fuck man. i should just die.
really. why do i live in this world for? everything just doesnt seems right.
why must life have this phase everytime. everything is out of place. i am the biggest shit that is out of place.





at the end of the day.
home is the best place. cause when everyone seems to leave me alone,
there's a place call home. a place where people will really ask me out of concern why i am like this. a place where people will care whether i have eaten or not. a place where people will try and make me feel better although they didnt show it out clearly. a place where no matter how angry and hated that person, i will be fine after a few days.